Working with the Police
Many gay, bisexual and transgender (GBT) men are reluctant to call upon the services of law enforcement or the court system. There are, however, circumstances under which you may want to consider engaging the police or the courts:
§ If you have been assaulted, physically or sexually, by your abuser.
§ If you have been a victim of another crime by your abuser, such as theft, destruction of personal property or identity theft. (See Some Abuse is Criminal Behavior)
§ If you feel unsafe and want a domestic violence restraining order against your abuser. (See Restraining Orders)
§ If you want the abuser removed from your home.
§ If you want to protect your children from the abuser.
§ If child custody issues need to be resolved.
There may be additional circumstances in which to consider contacting the police or the courts. Each person needs to review his situation and weigh the pros and cons of working with the police and the courts. GMDVP Client Services can help you consider and evaluate your options.
The two primary reasons to contact the police and courts are the abuser’s criminal behavior, discussed below, and domestic violence.
The following describes working with the police in Massachusetts, though most of the points below apply or are similar in most other states.
Domestic Violence
The police can be called during an emergency 911-type incident or domestic violence can be reported to the police without having or before such an incident. Most police departments have an officer responsible for domestic violence. The violence can be reported directly to this person. Three reasons to do so are to have immediate protection, to have a record of the abuse in case such a record is needed in the future and to prepare for seeking a restraining order.
Calling the Police
If the police are called for a domestic violence incident, a few things to know are:
• Some police departments are obligated to arrest one of the parties when called to a domestic disturbance and there is sufficient evidence of violence. Other police departments leave the decision whether to arrest at the discretion of the officer on the scene. The police, also, determine what charges are placed against the party who is arrested. Some partners will say “I don’t want him/her arrested; I just want the abuse to stop.” If the police are called, the police decide if the abuser is arrested and what charges he/she faces.
• The police can arrest an individual for a number of other reasons, including:
§ A felony or misdemeanor committed in an officer’s presence.
§ A felony or misdemeanor based on probable cause (that is, clear indication of a crime) in a domestic disturbance situation.
§ A violation of an existing restraining order.
• Police procedure is to interview the parties in a domestic disturbance separately and privately. If the police do not do so, request privacy for your own comfort and safety.
• If an abused person defends himself and visibly injures the abuser, the police will have an even more difficult time determining who is the abused and who the abuser is. This can be a risky situation for the abused person who might get arrested as the abuser. This is another circumstance in which having evidence of past abuse or already having reported past abuse to the police is useful.
• If the police do not arrest the abuser and you feel unsafe, call on your personal support network or call GMDVP Client Services.
Restraining Orders
• A domestic violence restraining order can be requested not just for an intimate partner but for other people, such as a spouse, a roommate or a relative under Massachusetts law. (See Massachusetts Legal Definition of Domestic Violence)
• A restraining order can be requested from the court without having previously contacted the police (See Restraining Ordesr). Having a police report, however, may make it more likely to successfully secure an order. Having other evidence of abuse is very useful, as well. (See Safety Planning)
• Some abusers turn the table on their partners by seeking a domestic violence restraining order or filing criminal charges against their partner. In effect, they claim to be the abused and allege that the partner is the abuser. This can be a very difficult situation to rectify. Contact GMDVP Client Services if this happens to you. It may be wise to pre-empt such a move by filing for a restraining order or a criminal offense first.
If the Abuser Is Arrested for Domestic Violence
If your abuser is arrested, he/she will be taken to the police station and booked. He/she has the right to bail unless he/she is charged with violating a restraining order. If he/she posts bail, he/she could be released within hours of arrest. At a later date, he/she will have a court date to answer any charge.
Criminal Behavior
There are a variety of criminal behaviors that are commonly associated with partner abuse (See Some Abuse is Criminal Behavior). An abuser’s criminal behavior can be reported to the police. Once criminal behavior is reported to the police the decisions to investigate and to press charges are in their hands and out of the control of the reporting party.
Again there are pros and cons for pursuing criminal complaints. Contact GMDVP Client Services to discuss this option and consider its possible costs and benefits.
Tips for Working with the Police
• Facts and evidence are effective tools when working with the police, so:
§ Keep a journal of the abuse with dates, times and other details. (See Safety Planning)
§ Accumulate and keep any evidence of physical or sexual abuse, such as photographs or medical records.
§ Accumulate and keep any evidence of other criminal behavior.
§ Make note of any people who have witnessed the abuse.
• If you are in an abusive relationship but have not yet contacted the police, it may be worth your while to visit with your local police department’s domestic violence officer. You do not have to reveal your situation; just ask to visit in order to learn about the department’s domestic violence program. This will establish a relationship that may be useful later on.
To meet with an officer at a police station, you usually have to submit an ID at the front desk. If you want to remain anonymous, you could ask to meet the officer outside the police station. A GMDVP Client Advocate could help arrange such a meeting.
• When describing the domestic violence to the police:
§ Freely express your emotions, including fear, but try to tell your story in as specific, factual and organized a fashion as possible.
§ Show the police any injuries or damaged property.
§ Tell them about any witnesses to the current incident.
§ Show them any restraining orders you have against the abuser.
§ Tell them if you have been sexually assaulted.
§ Tell them about any past domestic violence; show them your journal and evidence of past injuries.
§ Let them know about any injuries to your child(ren) from the abuser.
§ Tell the police about any drug or alcohol use by the abuser at the time of the incident.
§ Tell them about any warrants out against your abuser.
• Treat the police with respect and expect to be treated with respect. If there is a problem that can not quickly and easily be resolved at the time, address it with a more senior officer at a later time. Or contact GMDVP Client Services for crisis intervention or assistance in resolving any problems.
• The police give you a copy of a victim’s rights sheet at the time of the incident. Also, in the case of a domestic disturbance, they are mandated to take a report and the report number should be on the victim’s rights sheet. If not, ask for the report number. You are entitled to a copy of the report, which you can secure by going to the police headquarters.
Pros and Cons for Working with the Police
There are pros and cons for working with the police on partner abuse and any related crimes. Most of the pros and cons apply to the court system as well.
Some of the pros are:
• Police personnel in general have become increasingly professional and skilled in handling domestic disturbances.
• Most police departments have at least one trained officer responsible for domestic violence cases and this person is likely to make a sincere effort to be of assistance.
• The police provide documentation of domestic violence that can be useful for police or court action.
• A few police departments have an officer who is a liaison to gay male (G), lesbian (L), bisexual (B) and transgender (T) people. This officer may be helpful in cases of domestic violence by providing guidance and support for working with the police.
• Some police departments have had exposure to information about GLBT partner abuse.
Some of the cons are:
• It is difficult to engage with the police on partner abuse and not come out to them.
• Not all individual police personnel behave as professionally as is expected, and an individual officer may handle a LGBT domestic disturbance situation inappropriately.
• Most police personnel have not had training on LGBT partner abuse. This can lead to a variety of problems when they are called to a domestic disturbance:
§ They may have difficulty distinguishing the abuser from the abused especially when there are two people of the same gender.
§ They may arrest both partners and call the situation “mutual combat”.
§ They may treat the situation as just two guys (or two women) having a fight and not handle it as domestic violence.
• Most police personnel have not had LGBT diversity awareness training. They may inadvertently or deliberately handle the situation in an insensitive manner.
• Any situation reported by the police appears in the police blotter and may be published by the local newspaper.
There can be good reasons for working with the police and the courts. It is important to clearly think through your goals in doing so and to create a plan. GMDVP Client Services can help you consider your options.
Help or Disappointment
The police are one of the first resources that women survivors of partner abuse seek, but they most frequently cite the police as unhelpful. The reason for the gap between use and satisfaction is inaccurate or exaggerated expectations about what the police can and are mandated to do. There are actions for which the police have authority and actions that survivors might like them to take but for which they do not have authority.
The police can…. The police do not, can not and may not….
§ Arrest the perpetrator of domestic violence § Indefinitely hold an arrested perpetrator; he/she will be released possibly within hours
§ When called to a domestic disturbance, gather facts and evidence, and make a report § Serve as a domestic violence counselor or a mediator
§ Investigate in a professional and even-handed manner § Take your side
§ Enforce a restraining order by arresting the perpetrator § Magically stop your abuser from being abusive and not arrest him
§ Respond when called and under special request, pass by your home occasionally § Provide on-going or 24-hour protection
A survivor can have any number of expectations for the police that may not be true. If you believe, for example, that the police will lock up your abuser indefinitely and provide you with 24-hour protection, you will be very disappointed. If all you want is for the police to stop the violence but not arrest the abuser, you will be disappointed because they are likely to arrest him/her when there is evidence of violence.
If you know the limits of the authority and responsibility of the police and work cooperatively with them, you are likely to be satisfied and find the police to be very helpful.